Retiring, but not quitting! (Final Post on Topic)
Ive posted about this in my discord and have talked about it on stream but I could not have a blog and not post about it here.
So yesterday was a tough and crazy day. But here is a little back story for those who might not know about my journey as a streamer. 5 years ago living in California I found my way to Fallout 76. I enjoyed the game but really wanted to have people to do end-game boss fights with. I made my way to Twitch and found Munckinjesse, a fabulous content creator who was running silos with her community. Over the weeks and months of watching streamers and always wanting to get into content creation, I decided to try and stream myself. I formed the Sloth Army and started streaming and loved every minute of it. I quickly decided I wanted to make every attempt at being a full-time streamer and content creator. But then life stepped in the way, my grandpa was getting older and needed help. So I started the move to Arizona over the next few months and ended up out in Arizona and over the next few months, I was stuck with no ability to stream until I waited for the house to be finished. As I was waiting COVID started cropping up, delaying my move-in. Finally, in August I was able to go Live again. During the COVID lockdowns and streaming daily for 6 months, the stream thrived. I made partner on Twitch, something I never thought would be possible. For once in my life I felt like I had found my passion and calling. Before streaming I never had a job that satisfied me or brought me any real passion and as I got older I worried I would never find it. Over the years of streaming, I had many hardships from my grandpa dying, losing my cat of 15 years, the internet being very unstable throughout the year, temps that hit 120F in the summer. Over time the stream suffered along with my mental health with the dropping viewer count and lower income. Finally, about a year or so ago I found out that one of my closest friends on Twitch was actively working behind my back to hurt my viewership and at the same time scamming me and the community with fake emergencies. I had to walk away, but I could not do it quietly because my side of the story needed telling. I lost friends and viewers over this but I will always stand up for the people on Twitch and those in my community. It was not fair that people's emotions were being abused by this person and I could not be a part of it. Standing on your morals is a risky thing for a streamer and too many compromise their morals in the chase of the mighty dollar or viewer on Twitch. It shouldn’t be that way, we are all better than that.
Even with the outcome, I would do it all over again if it saved even one person from being scammed or emotionally abused by that person. As a content creator, influencer, and streamer, I felt we have a responsibility and it's always been my goal to leave the world in a better place than I found it. Over the years I have gotten messages from people that I have helped in their darkest times and helped them see the light in things, had people messaging me telling me how much of a better person they are because of me and my influence on them. This is why I kept going for so long, it was never about a big paycheck, it was about the community and all the amazing people in it. At the end of the day sadly only a paycheck will pay the bills though. I had hoped I could turn things around this year but instead, I have constantly struggled, emptied out the savings account, and started to get scared about my overall future. I knew when I ended stream on Saturday I could not continue on with this same course or I was going to have a heart attack or more seizures from the stress. The hard days after the stream really hurt my productivity and took me to very dark places in my mind. So even though walking away was one of the hardest things I've had to do in my life, if I wanted to keep living I had to do it.
Retiring from streaming now after 5 years I've had over 19.8 million minutes watched on the channel, 1.34 million chat messages, and an untold amount of friendships made. The people I have helped and entertained will always hold a special place in my heart. I would not have been on the platform for so long if not for every single person who has ever come in and lurked, said hi, dropped a single bit, a sub, or sent me a message. I survived these last few years because of all of you. So a big thank you and applause for the amazing SLOTH ARMY! Never stop spreading that love that the Sloth Army is known for! I want you all to know this is not a goodbye. I am not giving up on my passions as a content creator, influencer, or Sloth General. I plan to continue my work on my YouTube Content, my website will also still have articles and be rewritten a little after retiring from streaming, and blogs posted, and my long-abandoned Etsy shop will be making a return while I explore this next chapter of my life and try to thrive into 2025. And like those athletes who retire just to come out of retirement later, there is always hope for a future on Twitch someday. When I get to a better place to live that has stable Internet, a place that doesn't cook me in the summers, or even when I can come back as a hobby and for the fun parts of streaming and be able to ignore the business side of things. The business side is what brought all the stress, migraines, seizures, and health problems. The fun side of it was something I woke up every morning looking forward to and honestly not sure how I'm going to get through every day without yall. But I am nothing if I'm not a survivor, I have survived many things in this life that had me close to death but I ALWAYS fight back. In the end, I might move on from one thing but I will never quit FIGHTING for the overall! I might lose a battle with something but I won't lose the war. I'm too stubborn to fully quit life! So watch out, there is more to come from me!
Thank you for taking the time to read this and you are a truly amazing person for giving this post some of your time. Keep being awesome, spread that love everywhere you go, and tell the people in your life, the streamers you watch, just how much they mean to you. You never know when it's all going to end. And with that and after all these tears writing this... In case I don't see you, good afternoon, good evening, and good night. Until next time my fabulous Sloths.
-Aveege
